Do you think you know
    what it means
to live a life
    of broken dreams?
Handcuffs and metal
    detector machines.
Murder suicide
    and even drag queens.
This is what
    my eyes have seen
in a place it seems
    I've always been.
A life of hate
    full of crime,
I do my time
    and never whine.
Painful memories
    I left behind
I pray to God
    I never find.
I've lived a life
    I'd never choose:
broken arms
    and sex abuse,
looking at mom
    and her new bruise,
A violent father
    full of booze.
Knowing I wasn't
    the one to blame
I tried to hide
    my pain and shame
by filling my veins
    full of cocaine.
But in the end
    I became
Detained and chained
    in prison again.
Now I can't change
    what I have done,
and I'm not content
    with the man I've become,
so in jail I pray
    to the Almighty One
to accept this son
    again as a Christian.

    2011 and counting ...

I’ve been a lost soul,
A terrified man.
Intending to live each day,
without so much as a plan.
Deceitful with words,
thinking I’ve earned the right,
never caring about the consequences
it will have upon my life.
Being led down a path
By a hand that’s like a snare,
With a person who claimed to love me
But was scared to ever care.
I refused to see the obvious,
Didn’t want to speak the word.
There really was no meaning,
My heart just never heard.
I tried to drown my sorrows
In a haze of thick grey smoke.
I was too sick to realize
My life was now a joke.
It took seven years in and out of a box
For me to write this tale.
I am empty through and through
On such a large scale.
I have opened up my eyes
And I need to be the proof.
There are little ones at home,
That deserve nothing but the truth.

February, 2011